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Jentle and Pailey

I don't know how he figured it out, but this one particular 21st century human male discovered that by rubbing his face against a goat's face, he could produce this ungodly wailing sound that was so loud most people in the countryside thought a village was getting ripped in half. One old man heard the sound through ten stacked windshields he fell asleep underneath. The soundmaker's name was Jentle and he was a real troublesome guy, always kicking milk pails or running off to making that ungodly sound with the goat.

Now believe it or not, on the other side of the world, exactly opposite Jentle was a little girl who could produce the same exact sound by running a frog along her shoe laces. It was truly startling! People thought an ocean liner had crashed into a dinosaur and the dinosaur had screamed. An indian fellow jumped out of his bathroom and threw his tomahawk for a new world record because of it! The little girl's name was Pailey. Oh and, I forgot, a guy fell off his rollerblades.

The sad part in all this is that these two, Jentle and Pailey, never got to meet each other. They both died of shattered bones because of sound waves which continued to ricochet in their skeletons. A reporter in Miami who was the first to piece together these two stories called it tragic and just another example of the growing dischord in our generation. I wouldn't say it's that bad, but I do think their names sound good together. Jentle and Pailey. When you say it like that, it is heart-breaking, no doubt about it.

by why the lucky stiff

november 7, 2005