Last Updated on April 1, 2019 by Husain Parvez
Business is starting to pick up some. I’m getting more contracts and my wife is not as worried about the future as she used to be. In fact, she is no longer just my wife, she is also going to be the mother of my child again! One thing about working from the basement, that I have mixed feelings about, is she expects me to talk about the new nursery 24/7.
I love her so I humor her and deflect all the decision making to her sister. The new baby will make it’s debut in about six months. We are over the moon with excitement.
Since I’ve started working in the basement, I have kind of let myself go. I’ve gained 20 pounds and my former clean shaven face has grown a pretty impressive beard. As it turns out, I hate the 20 pounds, but I love this beard. I love this beard so much that I even buy beard oil. Unfortunately, the wife does not feel the same way about it.
We have agreed that I can shave it into a different style every week as long as I agree to never have this long of a beard again. I have mustache wax ready for when I try out the “Van Dyke.” I’m secretly hoping that she’ll fall in love with one of my whacky styles and let me keep it.
Okay, beard problem taken care of, now I have to tackle this weight. I’m going to try a low carbohydrate diet and see if that works. I’m going to try and stop drinking all soda, including diet soda. Also, I’m going to stop wearing pajama pants around the house all day, I think that will help me realize how tight my pants have become on a regular basis.
With pajama pants I think, “Would I like a doughnut? Why yes, thank you. These pants are so roomy.” With regular work pants it will go more like, “Would I like a doughnut? Nope, pants are too tight, I think the seams might rip.” At least this is how I think it will work.
I’m also going to start going for a nightly walk because we’re getting a puppy! In one week we will be proud puppy parents. I am abnormally excited about this. We’re adopting her from the local humane society because she and the rest of the litter were surrendered when they were just born. She is some sort of mix breed but at least part German Shepherd Dog.
We’re going to name her Luna. I am a little worried about having a puppy around a newborn baby, but we’re hoping that they grow up to be best mates. We will see how our cat, Rex, feels about her. If worse comes to worse he can just hang out on top of the entertainment center, that’s what he usually does anyway.
It will be nice to have an office dog. A lot of men I know have “shop dogs” or “field dogs,” but I will have an “office dog.” I have never had an office pet because Rex hates me and would rather pee on my socks than look at me.
To summarize, work is picking up, we’re having another baby, the beard and 20 pounds have to go and we’re getting a puppy. Everything is looking good, except my dreams of having an amazing beard.