My Complete List Of Substitute Names For The Maneuver We Now Know To Be Monkeypatching

August 10th 15:29
by why

Defiling Science

Disowning A Grandfather


The Cougar’s Kiss

Demolition d’Ruby

Eating Donuts On 71st & Grand

Duck Punching

Patch Adams

Personally (and Openly) Slandering David Alan Black

This Gesture Has Been Outlawed

Betraying The Trust Of This Fine, Fine Nation


Eviscerating Certain Modules Which Made Themselves Ready And Willing To Be My Most Humble Prey

Calmly Opening The Cooler

Shaken Mixin Syndrome

Just Minding My Own Business

A Double Backflip With A Slight Change Of Functionality

Giving The Machine Some Vicodin

Locking Up The Smithsonian

Missus Doubtfire

Attempting To Exercise Just A Fraction Of The Lawlessness And Lack Of Discipline Which We All First Learned From Why The Lucky Stiff

Entropy’s Apprentice

The Evening Before The Wedding Celebration Of Pete Sampras And Howie Mandel

Accelerating One’s Aspberger’s

Happening To Use The Same Method Name In A Particularly Unfortunate Inheritance Chain

Quick, Nail Shut The Orphanage!

Defying the Queen Abroad

Calling White-Out A Painting

People’s Choice Winner Of The 2007 Bloody Knuckles Tournament In Tacoma, Washington

Double Feature Of Patch Adams And Mrs. Doubtfire (A Packed Showing)

When O’Reilly Wasn’t Looking

Stirring The Quicksand

Sex In The City Space Shuttle

Please don’t let these out to the Python people. Their language is named after Monty Python, let’s not forget, who was a much funnier guy than us.



said on August 10th 16:06

Don’t forget “Introducing Gladstone”.

And “Cackling The Gladys”.


said on August 10th 16:31

or these:

“Pistol Whipping”


“Kramering in Harlem”


said on August 10th 16:48

I would add: “Hatching a Plan 9”

“Illegal Formation, 5 yds, 2nd down.”

“Bringing A Saucerfull Of Secrets to Atom Mother on The Dark Side Of The Moon.”


said on August 10th 18:12

“serializing the turtle”


said on August 10th 18:23

Spending The Kids Inheritance


said on August 10th 18:30

IBM–“Inches below muff !”


said on August 10th 18:39

I’ve read “Calling White-Out A Painting” 5 times and I laugh just as hard every time.

Going for number 6 now…


said on August 10th 20:58

“Donkey Weaving”, “Waxing the Mustache”, and “Buttering the Buscuits”


said on August 10th 21:15

“Duck Punching” FTW!


said on August 11st 00:16

Squeaky Clean Sanchez


said on August 11st 09:07



said on August 11st 12:58



said on August 11st 22:38

Lovely Ultraviolence
Stalking the Young and Sickly Wildebeest
Looking Through Your Parents’ Vinyl Collection for Stones Records

Adam Keys

said on August 11st 22:49

Look guys. We’ve been coddling our duck types too long. Its time to give them the tough love they need. A little cartoon violence against ducks never hurt any actual ducks.

If anything, bringing an end to all these simian metaphors should be our top priority, VMs and language enhancements be damned!

Bob that is known as Bob

said on August 11st 23:48

Goosing the Mallard

some Anselm

said on August 12nd 03:59

wow, reading your different blogs and books and especially this post I have to say: You’re like the books of Douglas Adams in one person ;-)

I think sooner or later you’ll hear from me about Hackety Hack ^^


said on August 12nd 11:27

> Their language is named after Monty Python, let’s not forget, who was a much funnier guy than us.

Monty Python was not a guy, it was a group of guys.


said on August 12nd 13:52

Sage: Haha! That is hilarious! You must be a Python programmer, because you guys always get the last laugh. Thankyou for that.

But, seriously, how could we forget Monty Python’s enchanting role as Coach Buttermaker, star of The Bad News Bears. Don’t believe everything you read on Wikipedia, guys. ;)


said on August 13rd 18:58

But wikipedia can’t be wrong! They know everything!


said on August 14th 13:22

LninYo: I concur, “Duck Punching” takes it.

Ryan A.

said on August 14th 22:55

I like Duck Punching :)


said on August 17th 16:35

I love the “hatching a plan9” one… i’ll make sur to use it someday :)


said on August 21st 20:26

As a former child therapist, my favorite is Accelerating One’s Aspberger’s, except it’s spelled Asperger’s.


said on August 22nd 01:43

@redquirrel: unless _why actually meant asp-burgers. Mmmm, venomy.


said on August 31st 06:47

monty was not a guy

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