hoodwink.d enhanced


What A Lovely Year, Let Me Tell You #

by why in cult

Coming off of the most shudderingly epochal year in Ruby’s history, don’t you feel like vital frameworks are simply too commonplace, that dazzling code is just too mainstream, that pragmatism is sorely tried, that all the ideals of modern man have been bumped up and hit the ceiling? (Our previous ideals having been: to have ideals.)

Of course you don’t feel that way. But, hey, let’s at least face the fact that we’ve innovated the hell out of the basics. Which is natural. For example, this world has not yet finished with the burrito. Personally, despite the thousands of burritos I’ve seen in my time, I’m just now happening upon my greater love for sweetened pork.

By which I mean to say: welcome to those of you who are new to Ruby. You are late, yes. But your newness is right on time.

Now, predictions for 2005:

  • Dave Thomas will disappear completely. Loyal followers will mount a search-and-rescue, scouring the temples of Nepal and the villages of the Peruvian Amazon. He will be found at the top of Mount Fuji, issuing actual karate chops to those who fail to solve code katas. (On a related note, DHH is getting back into sabre fencing, be wise.)
  • David Alan Black will just “happen” to post Ruby-Talk’s 150,000th message. Everyone will celebrate by continuing on to read the next message on the list.
  • People will spend so much time playing with 43things (i.e. interfacing with the API, ranting about the coolness of the big-font-little-font emphasis, etc.) that no one will actually get anything on their lists done. The world will become a debase and fetid place to be. (However, those who vowed to organize their mp3 collection will have accomplished this much.)
  • RedHanded, hoping to expand its readership, will widen its topic to anything related to the color red. Encouraging Ruby followers to perpetuate redness in their attire and blush, RubyConf will look something like a Target commercial, but without all that annoying white.

Please note: If you can’t tell, the same facetious and gregarious Why you knew in 2004 will remain on the cloak-and-dagger.

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